Helpless, Anonymous (17)

I was 16 when I first started to isolate myself. I hid how I truly felt. No one knew I was sad, anxious, and lonely because I never showed it, and I still don't. I can come off as outgoing, friendly, and super happy around others, but once I'm behind my closed bedroom door, I become a completely different person. I didn't know exactly why I felt this way. Maybe it was school, friends, family, I honestly couldn't tell you, but it was bad. I started to drink because I thought it would make me feel better. It turned into a daily thing, and no one knew about it. I started to rely on it to the point where I couldn't sleep until I felt the effects of it. This lasted for almost eight months before I couldn't supply it anymore, and I started to get better until I turned to marijuana. I started to gt high every night just hoping to feel something because I felt so numb. it's been a rough journey through my sadness and I haven't completely learned how to cope with it, I still struggle with alcohol to this day, not as bad, but definitely not where I want to be.